Mission: Revenge
by NeitherHaveIWings2Fly
Summary: If Jesse thought that he would get away with an attack on Puck's girl, he was sorely mistaken. Puckleberry oneshot, T for language.


**So, Puck standing up for Rachel and wanting to take Jesse down? Super hot. And while Puck got his shout-out at the end, I feel like he's not the type to just let it go that easy. I don't own Glee, because if I did Rachel would not be kissing Finn next week. This was going to be set to a different song, but my iPod decided to play Kelly Clarkson's "Gone", which I also don't own, and I changed my mind. Enjoy!**

Noah Puckerman knew a thing or twenty about revenge. As the resident badass of McKinley High School, it was his turf to strike fear into those who came against him. And Jesse St. James? He had to have a deathwish or something to mess with Puck like this.

Taking over the auditorium, performing in order to make them feel horrible, and teepeeing the choir room? That was worth the tire slashing, but he could have even done less. That was basic pranking, and that was to be expected.

But if that douchebag thought that he would get away with planning and participating in an attack on **his** girl, he was sorely mistaken. Maybe Jesse didn't know that Puck still considered Rachel his girl after his feelings for her had not gone away after their break-up. Maybe Jesse expected Mr. Schue to be the better person and tell them not to retaliate. Maybe he had actually paid attention when he was at McKinley and noticed that not many people stood up for Rachel on a regular basis.

That just sucked for him, 'cause Puck was going to take him down.

So, they'd gone funky on Vocal Adrenaline's collective ass and it was a pretty good victory, but Puck wanted more. He wanted justice for Rachel. And he wanted that prick humiliated. He really wanted to beat Jesse's face in, but he was going to have to settle for humiliation.

After their number, Puck pulled Rachel back before she went in the dressing room to change.

"So, how do you feel?"

"Well, I always appreciate expressing myself musically, so it was adequate."

"It wasn't enough."

"They threw eggs at me!" She hung her head.

"Um, look, I don't go to math class, but I actually kinda like science and I remembered that chicken eggs that we eat aren't fertilized so… they weren't chicken embryos. They wouldn't have become chickens. And that's about all I learned in Bio." Suddenly, Puck had his arms full of Rachel Berry as she launched herself at him.

"I think I knew that too, but I was so terrorized that I forgot." She pulled back and smiled at him. "Thank you, Noah."

"Look… I wanted to kick his ass, but considering I almost got expelled this week, that's probably not the best idea. But I want you to get back at him 'cause you deserve your own payback."

"Why?"

"Because he was a douche!" Rachel laughed.

"No. Why do you care that I get payback?" He paused. Damn it, he wasn't good with feelings and shit and putting them into words.

"Because you were right."

"While I appreciate your submitting to my wisdom, what was I right about?"

"I wasn't going to break up with you. And I've been doing this stupid with-but-not-with Quinn thing for my daughter and the whole time I've been watching Finn run away until you dump him and then he runs back like a puppy. And then, Jesse comes in and dangles you like a yo-yo with pressuring you and then saying everything's your fault then winning you back by doing squat and then turning tail and running back to his robot friends and I wish I'd fought for you because maybe then we both wouldn't have had to deal with all this shit!" Rachel looked shell-shocked.

"I think that's the most I've ever heard you say." She whispered.

"And I get if you don't feel the same or whatever but can we please get back at this tool?"

"Noah?"

"Yeah Berry?"

"Kiss me." Puck didn't have to be told twice. He pulled her to him and in an instant his lips found hers. For a few moments, all thoughts of Jesse or Vocal Adrenaline or chickens left their minds. Finally, Rachel pulled back with a goofy smile on her face. "So, what did you have in mind."

_A few hours later…_

Jesse had been online since he returned from McKinley High, attempting to find a song that could put them on equal footing with New Directions' funk piece. As he scanned, he heard a noise that meant he had a new e-mail. A scan of his inbox showed he had a message from Rachel Berry with the subject "Something I Need to Say". 'This oughta be good,' he thought with a smirk. He opened it up and all that was in the message was a link. He clicked and found himself on Rachel's MySpace with her most recently added video. Rachel was sitting on the edge of their stage and was smiling brightly.

"Hi Jesse, and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline since I sent you this link as well. I wanted to make a few things clear before we saw each other at Regionals. First, as many of you know from my somewhat strange arrival at a recent rehearsal, your director is my mother. I don't know if you all had simultaneous strokes, but I'm sure she wouldn't be pleased to hear that you pelted me with eggs. Food for thought. Second, I don't know exactly what Jesse has told you, but we did not sleep together. I said no out of loyalty to my team, which I guess makes us even on some level. While I was invested in the relationship, I have quickly gotten past my disappointment and moved on to general disdain and pity for his loss. Given that you are all emotionless automatons, it's no wonder he felt it necessary to meet his emotional needs with a member of an enemy team, as you all heard him profess that he loved me. Finally, I wanted to remind you that while your Auto tuned sounding, generic chords may seem impressive at first glance, we have real talent and musical capability here. To help me remind you of this, Noah Puckerman is going to help me out with a song. If you don't remember who he is, he was the very attractive one who both outsang you and break danced in our funk number." The camera zoomed out and then Puck came around and sat on the stage with his guitar while Rachel stood and went back to the microphone. Puck started strumming and Rachel joined in with the lyrics.

_What you see's not what you get  
With you there's just no measurement  
No way to tell what's real from what isn't there  
Your eyes they sparkle  
That's all changed into lies that drop like acid rain  
You washed away the best of me  
You don't care_

You know you did it  
I'm gone to find someone to live for in this world  
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight  
Just a bridge that I gotta burn  
You were wrong  
If you think you can walk right through my door  
That is just so you  
Coming back when I've finally moved on  
I'm already gone

Sometimes shattered  
Never open  
Nothing matters  
When you're broken  
That was me whenever I was with you  
Always ending  
Always over  
Back and forth, up and down like a rollercoaster  
I am breaking that habit today

You know you did it  
I'm gone to find someone to live for in this world  
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight  
Just a bridge that I gotta burn  
You were wrong  
If you think you can walk right through my door  
That is just so you  
Coming back when I've finally moved on  
I'm already gone

There is nothing you can say  
Sorry doesn't cut it, babe  
Take the hit and walk away  
'Cause I'm gone  
Doesn't matter what you do  
It's what you did that's hurting you  
All I needed was the truth  
Now I'm gone

What you see's not what you get  
What you see's not what you get

You know you did it  
I'm gone to find someone to live for in this world

_There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight  
Just a bridge that I gotta burn  
You were wrong  
If you think you can walk right through my door  
That is just so you  
Coming back when I've finally moved on  
I'm already gone  
I'm already gone  
Oh, I'm already gone, gone, gone, gone  
Already gone  
I'm gone_

Puck set his guitar down and then walked over beside Rachel.

"Hey Jesse? Don't worry about Rachel. She's taken care of here." He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulled her close, and kissed her. The last shot Jesse saw was the two of them separating and smiling at each other and then the video cut off.

Puck knew a thing or twenty about revenge. When you couldn't beat a guy's face in, you insult the characteristic he cares about the most, you take his girl, and then you let the world know. Mission accomplished.


End file.
